On being a student and a mother

Parenting is tough.  Equally tough is being a student.  Combine the two and you've got yourself a challenging time.  I started my Master's degree when my oldest daughter was 20 months old.  This year she started junior kindergarten, and I'm still. working. on. my. degree...

Granted, in that time, I've also added another daughter to our family, done a little traveling (The Bahamas! The Florida Keys!...nothing THAT exciting) and also worked full-time at an office job.

Having kids and being a student essentially means being pretty much mediocre at both roles.  There are times when I would love to be on the ground colouring with my kids, but instead I'm hunched over journal articles, highlighting and note-taking like a madwoman.  Other times, I've had to write papers in a series of late-night sessions, after a full day of primary care-giving.  When that happens, I tend to say fuck it when it comes to my editing, only to regret it when I get feedback from my instructors.  

I've had to miss group meetings because I needed to pick up my kid at school.   I've had to push an instructor to give me earlier office hours because I needed to get home and nurse my baby.  I've never apologized for being a parent/student, but I'm sure I've inconvenienced people, my classmates and instructors alike, and that's pretty crappy.

And while I'm nearly done my studies (as long as I can achieve the completion of my research by the end of June) if I could go back in time and meet past me, I would definitely have encouraged myself to complete grad school BEFORE I had kids.  I can't imagine that I will pursue any higher education, at least not until my children have achieved a higher level of independence and/or we're rich enough to hire help (which is a very pie in the sky statement).

But, at the same time, I do enjoy keeping myself busy, and keeping myself challenged.  As well, I like that my daughters see me working hard and achieving a goal.  I continue to remind them that their education is so very important.  Michelle Obama said being smart made her feel cool.  I think being smart is cool.  I hope they feel that way too.  

At this point though, I long for the end of June, when, unbelievably, all of this work should (WILL!) be done.  When I can read books with my kids, spend entire afternoons baking with them, playing with playdough, and just generally going at their speed, without the always looming deadline present in my mind.

The Importance of Napping

(photo of NAP pillow covers: counterculturedesign etsy shop)

Napping.  What an incredibly subjective topic.  Yet so important!  I personally can't stand napping.  I'm one of those people who gets really groggy and actually feels worse following a nap than they did before.  If I'm going to snooze for any length of time, give me at least 6 hours!  On the flip side, my own father can actually lay on a couch (a couch!?!), fall asleep for 10 minutes (10 minutes?!!  WTF?!?!) and then wake up feeling like he just bathed in a cool spring full of daisies and lilacs (he's actually never described it as such, but I've seen the pep in his step following his mini siestas, which has led me to believe that my description is accurate.)

My husband, as well, is a fan of the nap.  He is actually having a 5 o'clock vacation nap as I type.  He gets it from his mother who could nap on a deck chair through a hurricane.  Ok, slight exaggeration...she could nap through a tropical storm.  

But really, to me, naps are most important for children and babies.  My eldest was always a great napper, but she is getting to the age where she wants to phase out the naps.  The problem is, she needs to nap.  When rested, she is the world's MOST PLEASANT child.  When she is in need of rest, her stubborn, sullen side comes out.  On our recent trip to the Florida Keys, we didn't keep up with naps, and there were plenty of tears and tantrums by bed time.  Today, I made sure to get back into the napping schedule.  For her sanity, and for my sanity.  For our mutual sanity.

As for the baby, she's napping about 2-3 times a day.  She'll wake up around 8 AM, then nap about 11 AM, for roughly an hour.  She'll then take a mid afternoon nap around 3:00  PM, about the same time that her sister goes down.  Another short nap around 5:30 or 6 PM will keep her in good spirits through bath and bedtime at 8:00 PM.  

Definitely my favourite nap of the day is the afternoon nap, when there's some overlapping quiet time.

When it comes to myself, not only do I feel groggy following a nap, I also feel guilty.  There's something grotesquely decadent about daytime napping to me.  But really, many studies show it is incredibly important for our health and for combating stress.  Maybe I can train myself to nap.  Or maybe I'll nap when I'm older.  

Ah, naps.

Playground Love

There seem to be two times in your life when you really, truly appreciate a good playground.  Once as a kid, and then once again as a parent of small kids.  Maybe again as a grandparent? I suppose it depends how hands on you are.


Why do I love playgrounds so much?  Time for a list!


1.) They're equal opportunists!  Anyone can use a playground, you don't have to pay to get in, you can be rich OR poor.  Playgrounds love us all equally.


2.) Playgrounds are outdoors (you know, normally).  The outdoors is full of fresh air and sunshine.  Two things that are wonderful for kids, fresh air and Vitamin D.  And at the playground, they're free.

(Phoenix "Playground Love" cover)

3.) Playgrounds of today are amazing.  I found a playground in Davisville in Toronto that has many items to entertain and educate children of ALL abilities, which is awesome.  It's also awesome to see kids of all abilities playing together instead of being made aware of their differences.

4.)  Playgrounds allow for independence, for both parents and kids.  Parents can lay around and listen to podcasts about knitting while their kids happily shovel sand with other little kids (That might juuuust be me).

I could go on and on and on, ad nauseum, but instead I'll share a romantic looking photo from our playground foray this aft, thanks to Instagram.

(photos by me, thanks to instagram)

If anyone else wants to join my playground appreciation society, feel free.  I'm sure I'm not alone in my love of the public playground.

Art for Kids: Hirst & Matisse

Over our holidays, I happened to catch an interview with Damien Hirst on Charlie Rose.  Hirst was promoting his series of Spot Painting installations happening at Gagosian galleries in 11 major cities across the globe.

While Mr. Hirst is a controversial artist, I think his spot paintings are a perfect way to introduce young children to contemporary art.

DAMIEN  HIRST
Cupric Nitrate, 2007
Household gloss on canvas

And while my 3 year old may not ensure all spots are equilateral in distance, she knows how to draw a circle, and how to colour within the lines, so spending some of our (many hours a day of) art time working on something like this could be incredibly fun, and perhaps we'll have a gallery showing of our own (...in the playroom...it's super exclusive!)

Or you can make like Jordan and develop some grown-up spot paintings to adorn your walls,  for, you know, hundreds of thousands of dollars less than buying a new Hirst.

(photo by: Oh Happy Day! )

Of course, if Mr. Hirst is not your thing, there are still other great artists whose works translate well with children.  What about Monsieur Henri Matisse?  Any toddler can pay homage to Monsieur Matisse with some kiddie scissors, coloured cardboard and a glue stick (and then eat brie avec baguette for lunch, with une petite tasse de grape juice).

I remember seeing a Matisse exhibit at the Vancouver Art Gallery when I was just a tyke.  At the end they had an excellent art area where you could attempt to make your own Matisse-inspired creation. What fun!  I love kid-friendly museums and galleries!




Henri Matisse
The Snail, 1953
gouache on paper

(I mean, look at that!  Totally kid do-able!)

Are there other artists, classical or contemporary, that you think translate well into kid art?